Letting it go (and being okay with it!)

We are officially starting the 12 days before Christmas.  Do you feel the pressure?  I do!  It seems there are a million things needing my time or energy: coupon classes, giving back (RACK), kid's parties, kid's gifts for said parties, designing, couponing, shopping for my own pantry, playing with my kids, all while trying to savor the season.  

It's ALOT.

I was in my mom's group this past Friday where we had a guest speaker talk about her (many!) Christmas traditions.  I love traditions--for our family, some are intentional (Elf on the Shelf) and some aren't (Christmas PJ's).  As the speaker went on (and on!) about her glorious traditions and associated memories, I could see the other mom's eyes glazing over and I knew what they were thinking: Am I NOT a good mom because we don't make cookies/have 5 trees/ buy Christmas PJ's/make a gingerbread house/have an elf on the shelf?  Of course we (should) know the answer: NO!  However, this time of year it is easy to feel obligated, and as moms, it is very very easy to make ourselves feel bad about what we HAVEN'T done. 

I am here to tell you to 

STOP. THAT. RIGHT. NOW.

Let it go.

Here is a glimpse at what I haven't done:

• I haven't RACK'd anyone in 3 days (yes three).  I know it's sorta been "my thing."  Life happens.  Mommies People get sick and overwhelmed. And you know what?  I'm letting it go.

  

• I don't have a cool idea every day of where to move my elf.  In fact, I am thinking that next year the Elf might just stay at the North Pole! People take time off, and maybe our elf will too.  The kids will get a nice note saying he is sending secret spies so behave.  And you know what?  We will let it go!

• I haven't looked at Pinterest in quite a while. Believe me, I love (and I mean really LOVE) Pinterest.  What I don't love is how it makes you feel that Oh-my-goodness-I'm-not-a-good-mom-if-I-don't-make-fabulously-creative-homemade-treats-for-the-classroom kind of feeling.  I love ideas.  I don't love guilt.

• I haven't made sugar cookies with my kids.  This was a tradition I did with my mom and I try to carry it to our family as well. Oh well.  I'm letting it go.

• I haven't decorated the outside of my house.  No wreath, no ribbon, not even a Merry Christmas doormat. It's okay and I'm letting it go.

• I haven't contributed to my daughter's classroom gift for the teacher.  Let me pull a Rick Perry here: "Oops".  I have some coasters and mug and we will make it work (or maybe we won't!  Time will tell!) Either way, I'm letting it go!

• I have said NO to many "White Elephant gift" type of Christmas party events.  I'll hug you in January and we will call it good.

• I haven't sent out Christmas cards.  We have moved 4 times in the last 10 years--You want to know what I'm up to?  Find me on Facebook.  You'll see where my 2 year-old is missing two teeth, has had stitches, drinks from the carton of milk and climbs to the top of the pantry.  And that's just one kid!  Case in point of why I don't have the time or patience to try to send out Christmas cards.  I'm just trying to keep that kid alive.  

• I haven't had our family's Christmas picture made.  Why? Aforementioned two year-old wouldn't sit still for it anyways.  We'll see ya in 2012.  I'm letting it go.

• I haven't taken my kids to see Santa.  I made a (FREE!) video online where Santa sent them his own (personalized) message and we're good.  See ya in 2012, St. Nick!

• I haven't used coupons as much as normal! This isn't related to Christmas, but hey--sometimes you have to do what you have to do.  And sometimes that means that you have to buy Poptarts at full price without a coupon.  And then you let it go.  You can't make yourself crazy over missing out on saving $1.

And you know what? Despite what we did or didn't do-- I'M OKAY.  

And better yet, my kids don't even really care. 

The anticipation of the holiday itself is plenty.  PLENTY.

And so maybe this point was a little mostly for my own benefit.  To remind myself that the kids won't remember what we didn't do--truth be told, they probably won't remember what DID do or even that we skipped a year on some many things. 

Because here is what it boils down to: CHRISTmas.  

It's not JACKSONmas or SANTAmas.  Really the only tradition that is important is reminding, and teaching, my kids that point.  

All of the rest of those traditions are just icing on the cake.  


Our guest speaker at that meeting made a great point--when you are gone one day, all that will be left is memories. Presents will make their way to yard sale fodder, food will get eaten, but it's the memories your family will still have of you during the season.  
I don't want my kids to remember a crazy and stressed out mommy.
I want to smile more and find more joy in what I'm doing for the holiday.


What about you?  How do you want to be remembered?

This my RACK for today--this advice for you (and probably for myself as well).  

Let. the. guilt. go. 

Or at least promise you'll try. ;-)

Random Acts of Christmas Kindness

* Scroll to the bottom to see a running list of daily acts of kindness*

I don't open up very often about what is going on in my life.  You come here to learn how to save money, right?

But the truth is, it has been a tough year.  

Maybe it has been for some of you as well.  

Well this was probably one of the toughest years 

of. my. life.  

My faith, family and finances have been tested in ways I would have never, EVER, suspected.  I have had to face a lot of things about myself that I thought I had figured out in my 33 years on this earth.  I have said, on more than one occasion, that I was ready for 2011 to come to an end. I wasn't participating in the Facebook "Thankful Status" campaign.  I wasn't ready to be thankful. I was just ready for 2011 to END. Forget the holidays--all I could think was I just needed to "get through" so that I could start fresh in 2012.  

And then, I was faced with a series of people in my life who were GIVING THANKS for trials, poor circumstances and misfortune.  Many of whom had it MUCH WORSE than my "crappy 2011" had been for me. Some were losing homes, losing babies, and losing jobs, yet they were still grateful? 

At this same time, I was rushing around getting Christmas gifts for my little ones and crossing things off my list.  One of those things was purchasing an Advent Calendar for my kids.  For my kids, the calendars now include toys, gifts, and fun surprises--

the bigger the better! 

I lay in bed one night thinking about this dichotomy--people with nothing, yet filled with gratitude; and me having "everything", yet filled with attitude (and not the good kind!).

Something had to give! 

That's when I decided what our Advent Calendar would be:

25 Random Acts of Christmas Kindness.

I can't take all the credit--I was inspired by very creative people around the blogging world and posts like this one and this one.

I needed so show some gratitude to get rid of my bad attitude.  And my kids seemed to be picking up on it by turning into Brother and Sister Bear from the book "Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmes." 

(Please tell me you've read that??) 

So what does this have to do with saving money?  Well, I'm not sure that it does.  But maybe that is what I need after a year of clipping coupons and saving every penny I can at the stores: to give freely of myself, my talents, my service, my heart and my wallet to others--and asking absolutely NOTHING in return.

I have big plans for the next 25 days! I will post updates on our Random Acts as often as I can--most likely through my Facebook page--to help give you ideas for how you can R.A.C.K. someone this Advent.  However, I want to be present in these moments for our family, not for the sake of "blogging about it" so there may be a day (or week!) where you don't hear from me.  Don't worry, I'll do a recap in January.

To help you start your own journey, I have partnered with Punkin Prints who has generously created a free printable to leave behind when you leave your (mostly anonymous) RACK's.

You can also check out her super cute Etsy shop and get some paper products that will WOW your recipients!!!  I'm so lucky to have such talented friends!!

Get the RACK'd download here. 

Now go bless an unsuspecting someone (or some-more-than-one) with a surprise act of Christmas Kindness.I am committing to 25 acts of kindness, but what about you?  Can you commit to one?  Five? And what will you do?  Leave comments and suggestions below!

Acts 20:35

"In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive'."

Day 1: Made cookies for the husband who had a bad day and needed to smile.

Day 2: Was a "coupon fairy" at Walmart by leaving coupons next to a product that made it under $1 after coupon! 

Day 3: Pulled a name from the Angel Tree (Melvin)
Day 4: Placed quarters on toy machines in Walmart

Day 5: Left waters on top of the garbage cans on pick up day for the garbage men.
Day 6: Left a bag of chocolates in the mailbox for the mailman (to which he exclaimed "YEE HAW" upon finding them)